We begin our quest for knowledge trusting the education were receiving is correct. We purchase our first toy trusting in its craftsmanship. We choose our first play partner trusting there is a connection between us. We begin our negotiations trusting that our partner will be open and honest in their communications with us. We trust alot. The underlying current in all our leather encounters is trust. While we do our best to defend against all
our fears of mental and physical pain the one we tend to overlook most of all is the possibility of losing Trust.

Webster's Dictionary defines Trust as n. confidence; reliance;implicit faith ; moral responsibility; v.t. to rely upon; to have
implicit faith in; to give credit; to entrust; to hope; to believe.

We walk into the leather community believing in others, we have faith that others take responsibility for their actions as we rely
upon our own judgments of character. Is it possible that we take our trust in others for granted. Isn't is possible that many times
we ignore that gut feeling and place our faith in others when it is not earned? Have we learned to trust to quickly? Do we trust
others simply because someone else told us we should?

I came to write this article with many of the past years events in mind. Hoping people would read these words and take a
moment to think of the different levels of trust we place in people sometimes without even knowing were doing it.

Placing your trust in another person is your own responsibility. No one else does it for you. Never let your quest for knowledge
end. Be able to trust your own abilities and knowledge before you place that trust in someone else. If you can't trust yourself,
you cannot trust someone else.

New to the Dungeon:

When were new to the scene all the knowledge and experience of others can be overwhelming. We meet people who for the first time have the same thoughts and fantasies as our own. Since they think so much like us we should trust them right? Wrong!! Remember just because someone has more experience than you do is no reason to trust them. Take your time, really get to know the person. Make them give you a reason to trust them.

Playing as a submissive:

Is there a higher level of trust, you let someone tie you up and pull out the toy bag and hope for the best. This really is all about
trust. Just because you have negotiated a scene down to every little detail does not mean that once your all tied up and helpless
nothing bad can happen. Actually some of the most frightening statements concerning submissive's putting themselves in
jeopardy come from male submissive's. The old "well how much damage can she do, she's only a woman line." Believe me
friend, once your tied up and gagged *she* can do a lot. Know the people your playing with, ask others about them, and even
though you may really like this person be responsible and listen to the good and the bad. Establish safe calls, leave bondage out
of the play until you've had several sessions with the person. Ask them about their health, ask them about others they play with.
Ask every question you can think of and still err on the side of caution.

Playing as a Dominant:

Just because your a dominant does not mean your safe. You may think you've done all the right things, played the perfect
scene and generally been the grandest top of them all, until the next day that is, when the rumors start flying because the
submissive has decided she didn't enjoy last night afterall. It doesn't matter that you gave the best aftercare possible, there
simply are people who enjoy the attention given to them when a scene goes wrong. Believe me, once a story about a bad scene
gets out it can travel from one side of the country to another, many times without your knowledge. What can you do about this,
Nothing! It happens, it happens alot, you just have to sit back and let the lie go. To minimize the possibility of this type of
occurrence make sure you know your play partners, one night stands are usually where these things start. If your going to have
a one night stand, do it in public where others can watch. That doesn't mean the rumor won't start but at least you'll have
witnesses who can do the talking for you. Its bad enough when you have to worry about reputations being tarnished, if you want
to know what's worse try being arrested for rape and assault.

What's to prevent a submissive from yelling rape after a scene?
Nothing but their own honor and integrity. If your playing with a stranger how on earth do you know if they have any honor.

Playing in Public:

We trust when we enter a public dungeon or party that everyone is like minded, their there to play just as you are. Wrong!! We all
play differently, We all have different levels of what we consider is sane. Expect to be judged, whether we like it or not, its going
to happen. Reputations are made and ruined in public spaces. Be and individual. Just because someone's tells you Joe beat
Sue to shreds don't believe it, don't spread the rumor. Find out the facts for yourself. Do not expect that what occurs in the
dungeon, stays in the dungeon. Those days are gone. Be careful. If you have something to protect, like children, perhaps a
messy divorce. Don't expect people in a dungeon to keep things secret if someone comes around asking questions. As an individual be trustworthy and keep information to yourself, don't give out real names, don't give other peoples phone numbers to
your friends without permission, don't share secrets you don't want widely known.

Playing in Private:

Unless you know them, I mean really know them, Don't go private at first, take your time, there really is no rush. Establish
the trust you need to be alone. Be prepared for anything to happen, it can and will eventually. Use a safe call, don't do
bondage, put your negations down in writing, this can be helpful for both parties.

The Toy Bag:

In this day and age the best thing a submissive can have is there own toy bag. This establishes trust in your own health and
safety by eliminating placing your trust in someone else's ability to clean toys. You may trust the dominant completely but can you
trust in the possibility that another submissive has cleaned his toys correctly? We have stressed this to all the ones we have
tried to educate. It serves several purposes, the most important of which is safety. Having your own toy bag means the toys that
are used on you are only used on you. You care for them, you clean them and you chose them. Never let them be used on
someone else. This helps prevent the possibility of the transference of Hep A-H, AIDS and other transmitted diseases.
Your insure that no other persons blood will be lapped across your back. I have seen many times a top use a flogger on one
bottom after the other without cleaning it. Another aspect of having your own toy bag is knowing everything in there was
picked by you, this is very helpful when playing with a someone new. The dominant automatically knows what toys you like, what
is acceptable to you and knows they don't have to go home and clean their own toys from a night of play.

Perhaps this article may have come across a bit harsh. Please don't misunderstand me. There are many trusting relationships
within the scene. I simply hope this helps someone new evaluate the many different levels of trust we place in others
regarding our leather lifestyle and perhaps those that have been in the scene for many years might want to take a look at the
relationships they have developed just to make sure there trust doesn't come to easily.